Sunday, April 18, 2010

Diary extract No. 12 

We all have thimbles for our hearts, you see?
To protect from things that prick and poke and pierce.


I am full. So very full. This great Heaviness that finds its way inside my heart and settles there. And it frightens me, this Heaviness. But I know that it shan't hurt me. It only fills me with feelings, so many feelings that I can't know what I feel. So I wrote a letter, pages and pages of shaky penmanship and blurry ink. A letter hidden, scattered between the leaves of books no one ever reads. 

And I wrote of all the sad things in the world--of Bones and Ghosts and Romanovs and Not Knowing, of Waltzes and Wars and Wanting and Waiting and Loneliness and Lost--and I wrote of all things beautiful--of Laughs and Loves and Glitter and Ballet, of Home and Hope and Holding Hands, of Adventures and Art and Toffee and Trees. I lost a lot of tears that day. So, the Heaviness went away and I became less full and it frightens me ever so much more than the Heaviness ever did. 

Don't forget. Don't ever, ever forget.

17 comments:

Jess. said...

Your words have such eloquence and truth in them. I understand every syllable of this speech, and can't decide if it makes me happy to not be alone, or sad that some one else can feel it.

x
Jess.

tia mathilde said...

Hello, I believe this is the first time I've commented on your blog. Your words are not only wonderfully woven but terribly true. I read this post twice, because that little bit in the middle, when you listed all the sad things and all the happy things, that part took me to another world. I got absolutely lost in a most beautiful daydream.

aleyn comprendio said...

this blew me away. you are amazing

magnoliaamber said...

Pray, when i was reading I could only hum, "Ah, ah, ah, my fragile heart."

natasja said...

oh, your blog is lovely

Katie said...

such a pretty writing style..

heleen said...

Sometimes writing is the only cure for a heavy heart. I also love that picture you included, it's so delicate...

TheLittleFlower said...

writing is the best cure. keep writing. you and your words are beautiful.

xx

ChYmEc!nDy** said...

Love your blog.

sarahtay said...

reading your post just left me speechless. such a beautiful way with words, you have. while it's a mix of feelings and descriptions, i understand it thoroughly.

have a good day, love! x

ANGELICA! said...

my dear little elly,

your dress is almost done <3

i can't wait to send it to you!

angelica
x

maz in wonderland said...

oh elly, this is wonderful wonderful wonderful.
what amazing talents you have. i really can hardly believe it. you are such a beautiful person and i am in love with your blog, & your comment made me smile smile smile!! you are, too, a glorious little girl, i am so glad i found your blog <33 xxx

erin meagan said...

i hope i never forget! i need a better thimble for my heart. you see, i think mine has worn out.

elly said...

thank you all so very much! your words are like honey to soothe the sores in my tiny soul.
i hope one day we won't have to have thimbles to protect our hearts, nor armor for our thoughts.
xxx

char said...

this is so sad and beautiful and heartwrenching... especially since it's exactly the way i've been feeling lately! you write so eloquently, my dear ♥

feel free to drop by sometime... http://herlonelycity.blogspot.com//

Urban Legendary said...

I love your blog. I added it to my list of links! xx

littlelostfairy♥ said...

this post made me tear up a little, as i have been through something very, very similar. i found myself losing faith, and many inspiring blogs taught me to keep smiling, and yours was one of them. i must thank you from the bottom of my heart for this.. i am so very glad i stumbled upon your blog.
your most recent followe,
~annie♥

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a very merry thank you.